The human race finds more ways to be immensely resourceful yet equally repulsive.
Consuming too much power? Love to derm the worm? Is hugging your trees a hobby?
Introducing The Wankband: The first wearable tech that allows you to love the planet by loving yourself. The Wankband, which resembles a fitness tracker, uses a small kinetic charger built into the band to generate and store electricity created by motion — specifically, the motion that is usually done while watching porn. To encourage users to save energy by using their Wankbands, Pornhub is creating a “Wanking Warriors program” that offers special rewards.
Way to keep those marathon mobile porn sessions going!!
Still, however perverted, it is a conscience attempt to help conserve energy. I’m not even opposed to beta testing it. I can find other up & down motions…like scratching!
Pornhub, you make Travis Touchdown proud.
Blade God Syg is a contributor. Follow him on Twitter, Instagram or Ello (@bladegodsyg).