The Top 3 Reasons I’ll Never Be Considered a Gamer

Greetings! Welcome to 2019. I hope the holidays have treated you well and your New Year’s Resolutions are under way. Over the holidays, I decided to take a break from my usual music search to get into some old school gaming. I took a visit to BoxCar arcade in North Carolina, and went old school style on the likes of X-men, The Simpsons, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, and Mortal Combat to name a few. As I died, many many times, I thought about my childhood journey through video gaming. I have never beat Sonic the Hedgehog or Resident Evil. I usually get stuck on a part and cut the game off never to return. I can’t tell you any shortcuts or secret levels on Super Mario or Mario Cart. In any event, I give you my top 3 reasons I’ll never be considered a gamer. Tell me if you relate at all…

  1. I often use the term “If Snake were here”… If you’ve ever played Metal Gear Solid, bless you. This is one of my favorite gaming series of all time. Snake was a stealthy CIA agent uncovering secret alliances and global destruction weaponry. The possibilities were endless as you were able to smoke a cigarette/cigar while sneaking up behind an enemy to break his neck quietly. Snake could do the cool stuff: walk around in a cardboard box, camouflage his outfits to hide from foe, and fight the supernatural.  Snake had all the heavy artillery: guns with silencers and laser beams, c4, missile launchers, the list continues. Even controlling him was easy for PlayStation. Since playing and actually beating a few Metal Gears, I’ve wanted all the characters I play to move like Snake. Every. Single. One.
  2. I get an attitude when a new game system comes out. We all know that new gaming systems mean more money. Your favorite gaming systems will inevitably (and probably soon) stop making new games…so you will HAVE to upgrade eventually. Your old games will be sitting there collecting dust as you try to maneuver through game systems for games you want to play. #fail I don’t want 5 different game systems…that’s probably another reason I’ll never be considered a gamer.
  3. I don’t own any gaming systems that came out in the past decade. I sold my ps2 last year with a truck load of games. I didn’t want the clutter anymore.  *Kanye shrug* I wanted a ps3, but then I forgot and the ps4 came out. Hell, the ps5 is probably on the way. I’m not a huge fan of xbox, and my wii works just fine.

God bless all the gamers far and wide! Here is to you, Blade God Syg. May you light the way for all of us. What are some of your favorite games of all time? Feel free to comment below and share.

Happy New Year!

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{Video} GTA Story- The Stutter Girl

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An Ode to Minesweeper

Remember the game Minesweeper? It usually came as a stock game on your new Windows computer…think about it for a minute.

Minesweeper_XP

Every now and again, as a self proclaimed non gamer (who still enjoys games), I like to take a step back and salute the games that made me the woman I am today. Minesweeper was one of those games I NEVER beat. There were no hardcore graphics, no bloodshed, no friends to link with online any play in unison. The point of the game was to identify all of the bombs without..um…blowing up? I had to reinstall Windows xp on a computer the other day (don’t you judge me) and decided to give Minesweeper one more try. Boom! I won! So the logic is to flag and identify the bombs based on the numbers you reveal. There were tons of threads online featuring people like myself who couldn’t beat the fucking game! Inevitably, once you get the concept, it’s much easier. Anywho, if you sucked at Minesweeper, drop me a line and share some of your favorite old school difficult games.

#DropaJewel4Mayor