Make Cynicism Great Again

I bring you greetings from the hyperbolic death bed of a conspiracy theorist; here is my eulogy.

I saw a tweet from Yoko Ono, wishing Paul McCartney a Happy Birthday. As tradition would have it, I quoted the tweet and added a “Paul is Dead” for good measure. As I scrolled the comments to see who had done the same, I was disappointed. No one had mentioned Paul’s very non existent death, a theory as old as the Beatles themselves. What a fucking world”, I thought to myself…”or am I just old?”
The state of the current free world (pun intended) is in upheaval. Anarchy of sorts is upon us and many are excited or scared to death of: the pandemic, the importance of Black lives, killer hornets, the return of sports, a president and his twitter account as my list could continue on and on. What I am NOT seeing is a bunch of the conspiracy theorist in record numbers. Where are the people who believe this is all a government cover up to bring on the new world order? Where are the breakdowns about the book of Revelation and mark of the beast? Where are the urban legends about the loc ness monster in the chlamydia infested artic ocean? In my Lestat voice “come out come out, wherever you are.” Lets make modern philosophy and cynicism great again.

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